As I’m writing this, I’m staring at a growing water stain over our breakfast counter. It’s gotten to the point that it feels like it’s become one with the house and no longer registers as something to be concerned with anymore.
My husband and I live in an adorable condo that provides one of the most important amenities: security. I can be totally oblivious at times, so of course these matter more to him than they do to me…I kid, I kid. One of the trade-offs, however, is that our HOA takes quite a while to make decisions and repairs. This means for the past few months, we’ve had conversations with our landlord about apparent roof damage and are just waiting for some additional action to be taken.
While our hunt for a home has never slowed, this ring in our ceiling has certainly put a bit more fire under us to shorten the timeline to move. The great thing is that we’ve been searching and saving; the disappointing thing is that everything seems to be out of reach.
Given what we want and what's important to us, the current market requires that at least two illegal activities supplement your savings just to broach the topic of homeownership.
So, with this, I find myself in a place of waiting and peeping over God’s shoulder to see how far He’s gotten, once again.
One of my grandmothers often says that I am longsuffering. I know how to wait. When my mind is set on something, and God said heaven agrees, baby, I will wait.
My problem is that I don’t always wait well.
An inability to wait well isn’t a neutral position. It’s not just a display of patience with a bad attitude. Often, when we do not wait well, we resort to tactics we think help us move things along a bit faster.
Why Does It Matter How We Wait?
The way we wait reveals what we believe about God. Have you ever noticed that when a toddler doesn’t get their way, they immediately throw a tantrum? This tantrum isn’t just an emotional response to an answer they didn’t like. It’s often a manipulation tactic to force the adult to change their mind.
While we may not be throwing ourselves down and screaming in public places (hopefully), we may display our rebellion in other ways. Rebellion may look like the Holy Spirit prompting you to pray for someone’s specific need, and your first instinct is to scoff because clearly, He doesn’t hear your prayers. If He did, you would’ve already had what you’ve been praying for. Sometimes it looks like praying without believing or even delayed obedience.
Sometimes, waiting has less to do with changing our circumstances and more to do with shaping our character.
I am a 100% ‘prepare for what you pray for' believer. I believe there’s no truer display of faith than to ready myself to receive what He’s said I can have.
I used to think preparation meant I needed to make physical changes, like purchasing things, creating Pinterest boards, speaking it as if it’s done. There were occasions when these were the appropriate responses, but there were also times when I needed to audit my character to see if it was ready and mature enough to handle what I asked for.
If we’re not careful, preparation for the promise can easily become an attempt at manipulation to usher in the promise.
It can look like doing all the things we think align with what we’ve asked for and then calling God’s character into question when it doesn’t spontaneously convert to the answer we prayed for.
We know the difference between preparation and manipulation by our motives. Are we hoping our actions help us become better stewards of what we’ve prayed for, or are we hoping God sees it and immediately responds with our answer?
I’ve learned that how I wait determines whether I trust Him. I remember some years ago, before we got married, my husband and I were going through a rough patch. I poured my heart out to God one morning while I was in the gym and recounted to Him all the things He said to me.
I began to ask Him when things would look like what He said they would. I also started telling Him all the things that were happening that looked nothing like what He’d said (as if He didn’t know).
He said something that I’ll never forget. He said that when you’re baking bread, once the dough is in the oven, it’s important you leave it alone because constantly opening the oven and poking at the dough impacts the quality of the bread.
He told me that what I’d given Him was now “in the oven,” and each time I questioned Him about it was like me opening the oven and poking at it.
Years later, I realized the dough wasn’t the promise. It was my faith. Waiting well requires placing faith in His character and in His spoken and written Word. Each time we become discouraged by what we see or don’t see and allow it to weaken our perspective, it chips away at our faith.
Learning To Wait Well
Learning to wait well is a lesson I’m still struggling with but have gotten better at. I believe one thing I’ve become better at is shifting my focus from what I’m hoping for to what He’s already done.
It’s one thing if you haven’t gotten confirmation from Him that what you want is also what He wants and has for you. But if you’re certain of the Word He’s spoken to you and your spirit confirms it, waiting is helped by focusing on all the things He’s said and delivered in the past.
One thing I would never recommend is trying to gauge how long the new thing will take based on the length of time He took with something else, similar or not. God stands outside of and controls time. It does not dictate to Him.
So do not recount His methods, but focus your heart on His character, His nature, His immeasurable love for you.
Does it mean that I won’t be tempted to open the oven? Absolutely not. It does mean that as I’m staring at the stain on my ceiling and looking at the space we’ve outgrown, I’m also reflecting on all the things He said He would do and did, and remembering that His character remains unchanged.